*shuffles feet* Um, Hi?

So, i've kind of been MIA for the past couple of months. I've missed birthdays, stopped commenting, stopped posting, just... stopped. See, my laptop stopped working (technology tends to do this around me, seriously, ask my family, they all agree it's the weirdest phenomenon); the screen suddenly decided to show me nothing but white fuzz, and while it worked when I hooked it up to the TV, that didn't really help much except for when I wanted to stream something to watch. So, no writing, no LJ scrolling, and no fic reading either (because I can't get that shit to work on my phone).

Then, Ben became ill, like, really ill. It turns out that his congenital hearing defect plus the accident he had as a child (he sliced his face off by falling through a window and had to have several reconstructive surgeries when he was a toddler) have combined to create a gaping hole behind his left eardrum, a hole that has now filled itself with a tumour. It's benign, which is a relief, but it's also still growing, and if it isn't removed soon it may start eating into his brain, so he has to have surgery. And it's a big one. They have to saw into his skull and remove the bone - from temple to an inch or so behind his ear, remove the tumour, then replace the skull. It's brain surgery basically, and we've all been kind of freaking out about it. Luckily, due to Ben's profession, we're not exactly going into this blind - my kids play with the kids of the surgeon who's going to be doing the operation - so we're a bit better prepared than others might be. But still, it's really freaking scary. Add to that my own operation - ablation for my women parts - and we're all kind of floundering a little bit.

And then, my Tumblr account unexpectedly blew up. Turns out, some (probably nice, I keep telling myself they're probably nice) person screencapped a post I wrote about Eryn 3 years ago about something cool she did at school once. So now, I'm being bombarded with hate messages, people telling me I'm a liar, that I'm an attention seeker, a bitch, I should fuck off and die, that my daughter should fuck off and die. Someone even told me I was fat which, while they're not wrong, was a little disturbing. Of course, I've also gotten some lovley messages of support too, but they're being buried by the hate. I've tried to look at it all pragmatically, because intellectually I know that anon hate is just a thing that people do because they can and that it's not really about me, but it's taken a bit of a toll. I find myself flinching a little whenever I log on, just waiting for the new influx of hateful things people have decided I deserve today. It's made me feel a bit nervous of fandom in general, actually.

BUT, now I have a new laptop that actually works (for the time being). I'm glad I managed to get it sorted out now, because I would have hated to have missed out on signing up for hd_erised ! So, now I'm going to catch up on some fics I've missed out on, and remind myself that fandom can be awesome! I've missed you guys!


This entry was originally posted at http://lauren3210.dreamwidth.org/45106.html. Please comment either there or here.
Wow, things have been crazy for you. I'm sorry all the stress such a surgery for your kid (and yourself) carry, lord. I'm glad you know the surgeon and they are someone you trust. *hugs*

I'm so sorry to hear this whole tumblr bs. :((((( that sucks, like, why would anyone do that? Why would anyone would go through that whole problem and then keep messaging you about it. Maybe turning off anon for a while would give you a respite from all that? tumblr is wonderful for the most part, but once in a while I hear a friend going through something like this and it angers me and baffled me so much. :/

Erised! Nearly Erised time! Keep you eyes open tomorrow! ;)
I don't understand anon hate, it's like some people just can't be happy unless they're making someone else miserable, and surely that's not a nice way to live, you know? Kind and positive thought make for a kind and positive person, I always think.

And eeeeeeee! I'm so excited for Erised!! It might be the only HD thing I write this year, as it's already halfway over and I haven't written a single thing. I will cry if I don't manage to get a place in time! Good luck with your modding! <3
Hi lovely!! So happy to see you around!

I'm really sorry that you've been dealing with tumblr drama! That's such the worst, and it sucks that it's made you dread doing something that should be fun. I hope it all blows over soon. <3 <3 <3
Thank you! It's slowing down now - thank God - and people seem to be getting over it, but for a while there it was crazy! My phone gave up giving me tumblr notifications after a while, because it was constantly buzzing, haha! I don't even know how they even found the post to begin with, it was buried way back on my blog with about 12 likes on it. A friend of mine in Texas emailed me to tell me it had come up on her facebook feed ffs. Tumblr is so weird, man.

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