Reckless Passion (lauren3210) wrote,
Reckless Passion
lauren3210

  • Mood:

Sometimes, life really sucks

 
The past couple of months, I feel as though the universe hates me. Like, I've done something really terrible, something so bad that karma can't wait to get back at me and just needs to throw all of the shit my way just to make things even.

Ben had his surgery. And everything went as well as it could possibly go, and he's well on track for a full and complete recovery. Which is awesome, and so NOT a bad thing, but it was really fucking stressful for a long while, and I just didn't have a lot left over to deal with everything that's come since.

So my cat died, and part of me is very logically minded so I'm like it's just a cat, but then the other side of me can't stop crying myself to sleep at night because he's no longer laying on my feet.

I was at the hospital myself while Ben was there, because I've had a lot of gynaecological issues and I was hoping to get them sorted. I was originally going to have ablation therapy (they stick a balloon up into your uterus and burn away the lining, giving relief for a few years), but when I got there, my consultant told me it wasn't a good idea because of my blood clotting issue. So then I had to go back to someone else and go all through my history again to work out something else. I used to be on the combined pill, because it was the only thing that worked, but when I had my pulmonary embolism during my second pregnancy, they told me I couldn't go back on it. So I've been suffering from all these issues for 13 years. However, it turns out that what they wrote in my patient history was that I had experienced a deep vein thrombosis (blood clot in the leg) rather than the blood clot in my lung during pregnancy, and THAT was the only reason why I couldn't go back on the pill. So, I have been suffering from heavy cramping, periods that last 10 days or longer, such a heavy flow that I literally can't stand upright without a cascade down my legs, clots the size of my palm, FOR NOTHING. So I'm back on the pill, which is a good thing, but I'm so angry about it I can barely articulate it.

Then, last week, I started getting pains in my right shoulder. It got so bad, pain radiating down my arm and making it all numb and tingly, that my mum took me to the hospital to get it checked out. Turns out, I have a herniating disc on the C7 vertebra, putting pressure on the right brachial nerve. I had to stay in hospital for a couple of days while they monitored the swelling, because if it didn't go down, they would have had to perform spinal surgery before I completely lost the use of my right arm. It did eventually go down, but I am still in pain and on drugs, which makes it really hard to do stuff around the house, which I am still doing on my own because Ben's still recuperating.

Fuck 2017, to be honest.

Oh, on the plus side, I have 2 brand new kittens, who we've called Samson and Jackson - Sam and Jack for short - and they are just adorable! Sam is a grey tabby who can get into anything if he just tries hard enough. I found him in the washing machine yesterday. Jack is an orange tabby (with orange spots on his tummy!) who is an angry little ball of fluff - he hissed at the tv cable this morning when it got in his way. They are just 2 wonderful spots of brightness in a dark November, and I love them. This entry was originally posted at https://lauren3210.dreamwidth.org/46381.html. Please comment either there or here.
Tags: me myself and i
Subscribe

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 0 comments