*shuffles feet* Um, Hi?

So, i've kind of been MIA for the past couple of months. I've missed birthdays, stopped commenting, stopped posting, just... stopped. See, my laptop stopped working (technology tends to do this around me, seriously, ask my family, they all agree it's the weirdest phenomenon); the screen suddenly decided to show me nothing but white fuzz, and while it worked when I hooked it up to the TV, that didn't really help much except for when I wanted to stream something to watch. So, no writing, no LJ scrolling, and no fic reading either (because I can't get that shit to work on my phone).

Then, Ben became ill, like, really ill. It turns out that his congenital hearing defect plus the accident he had as a child (he sliced his face off by falling through a window and had to have several reconstructive surgeries when he was a toddler) have combined to create a gaping hole behind his left eardrum, a hole that has now filled itself with a tumour. It's benign, which is a relief, but it's also still growing, and if it isn't removed soon it may start eating into his brain, so he has to have surgery. And it's a big one. They have to saw into his skull and remove the bone - from temple to an inch or so behind his ear, remove the tumour, then replace the skull. It's brain surgery basically, and we've all been kind of freaking out about it. Luckily, due to Ben's profession, we're not exactly going into this blind - my kids play with the kids of the surgeon who's going to be doing the operation - so we're a bit better prepared than others might be. But still, it's really freaking scary. Add to that my own operation - ablation for my women parts - and we're all kind of floundering a little bit.

And then, my Tumblr account unexpectedly blew up. Turns out, some (probably nice, I keep telling myself they're probably nice) person screencapped a post I wrote about Eryn 3 years ago about something cool she did at school once. So now, I'm being bombarded with hate messages, people telling me I'm a liar, that I'm an attention seeker, a bitch, I should fuck off and die, that my daughter should fuck off and die. Someone even told me I was fat which, while they're not wrong, was a little disturbing. Of course, I've also gotten some lovley messages of support too, but they're being buried by the hate. I've tried to look at it all pragmatically, because intellectually I know that anon hate is just a thing that people do because they can and that it's not really about me, but it's taken a bit of a toll. I find myself flinching a little whenever I log on, just waiting for the new influx of hateful things people have decided I deserve today. It's made me feel a bit nervous of fandom in general, actually.

BUT, now I have a new laptop that actually works (for the time being). I'm glad I managed to get it sorted out now, because I would have hated to have missed out on signing up for hd_erised ! So, now I'm going to catch up on some fics I've missed out on, and remind myself that fandom can be awesome! I've missed you guys!


This entry was originally posted at http://lauren3210.dreamwidth.org/45106.html. Please comment either there or here.

Life Update!

I've been knocked on my ass for the last three weeks with a chest infection, and I am getting pretty fed up with my body trying to hack up a lung every 30 seconds. I've had a permanent migraine from my blocked sinuses, which the coughing - plus the lack of sleep from all the coughing - really isn't helping. I feel like I'm dying, and I would really like summer to hurry up and get here so I can feel better.

HOWEVER, in other news, it's my baby's 17th birthday today! I'm feeling a weird mix of pride and anxiety, coupled with feeling old as dirt. But forget about my impending middle age crisis and take a look at my gorgeous child:

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I mean... I made that. From scratch. I have no idea how I did it, but I am proud as fuck over it, to be honest.

But yeah, 17 today. Time flies past so damn quick, and I'm gonna go cry about that for a bit. See you all again soon! xx

WTF LJ

So, like everyone else seems to be doing, I have made an account on DreamWidth and am in the process of importing my LJ posts over here. I hope I've done it right *fingers crossed*. I'm still figuring out how this new site works (is there a friends page? How do I find people?) but hopefully I'll work it out. With any luck I'll have done the crossposting thing right, so if you feel like following me over here, please feel free to do so - mainly because I suspect that it will be easier for me to find you guys that way! So yeah, do that.

For those of you interested in finding me on other platforms, here are my various online personas:

AO3: lauren3210
Dreamwidth: lauren3210
Tumblr: heaven-is-my-hell
Twitter: @I_Can_Dig_Elvis

(It's so weird how you can track my fandom movements through my names! My Tumblr was set up way back when I was watching The Vampire Diaries, and Twitter when I was all gung-ho for Supernatural, and LJ and AO3 all happened back when I didn't understand originality and just used a handle that was close to my email address. I'm such a weirdo.)

I am currently dying of a cold that has lodged itself in my sinuses, and I feel like I am about to sneeze 100% of the time. But at least the weather's nice, so I am able to put my washing out on the line, which is nice. The girls are all gorgeous, horrible little brats as usual, and Ben is his usual grumpy asshole self, and absolutely nothing has changed in my life since my last post. When did I get so boring?

IMPORTANT PSA FOR ALL H/D WRITERS!!

Someone has made a collection on AO3 and has kept them 'unrevealed' without telling the authors.

I received a comment on another fic of mine, letting me know that my story for last year's dracotops_harry fest had been added to a collection entitled 'Drarry', and that they could no longer view it, even though they had previously commented and bookmarked it. When I checked, I found that it had disappeared from my list of works, and the collection had at least 20 other unrevealed works in its list. I suspect that the creator has probably made a mistake, making a 'collection' of their favourite stories, without realising what an actual collection does to the fic itself. It's easy enough to fix - I just went in and removed my fic from the collection - but unless you know to look for it, you won't know that your fics aren't viewable. So, just letting you know that you might want to check your backlists and see if any are missing so you can remove it from the collection.

And if some people could repost this on their journals/tumblr/etc., that would be awesome, because I know there are many awesome H/D fic writers out there that don't have me on their flists!

(late) fic claim: Ribbons and Bows; Grey and White

Just a quick post to claim the two fics that I wrote for hd_owlpost this year:

Title: Ribbons and Bows
Recipient: kitty_fic
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1586
Summary: Harry comes home from work to a prettily wrapped surprise.

Title: Grey and White
Recipient: vaysh
Rating: G
Word Count: 3 x 100
Summary: The world outside is grey and white.

Thank you to everyone who commented or recced or left kudos! And for those of you who have not yet seen the marvelous gift potteresque_ire made for me (and if not, seriously, where have you been? It's the bestest thing ever oh my God), here is a handy link: 9 Days of Snowmen. Go and scream about it and then leave lots of love!

*waves sheepishly*


Happy Monday, everyone! I hope everyone had a good weekend? It's a good day for me, because I finally have my laptop back, yay!! *jumps up and down* I'd just decided that I was going to try and post at least once a week, even if it was only to say "I have nothing to say", because I'm trying really hard this year not to just withdraw and go quiet on people, and then my laptop broke. It took Ben a couple of weeks to get around to looking at it for me, but it's up and running again now - although just barely, and I'm going to need a new one soon. But at least I now have something to type on, even if I am frantically backing up everything I write to gdocs just in case the laptop dies permanently. So anyway, hi!

Reading woes (here, have a random rant):

Has anyone ever read something that has made them so angry they're speechless? Because I did that last night, and I'm still not over it. The book was written by one of my favourite m/m writers too, which made it doubly shocking. I tried really hard to get the anger out in a GR review, but then I stupidly read the other reviews and I got angry all over again! Basically, the MC's love interest is this emotionally abusive cuntweasel (a word I used a lot in my review, because it fit so eloquently), but for some reason everyone else seems to think that's hot. "He's so awesome, so patient, so sweet, why is this book so short I need more Jack!!" UGH, so gross. And I'm so mad about it.

Comment woes (less of a rant, more thinky thoughts):

I got another weird comment on my bonding!fic, Unexpected Consequences the other day:

Fantastic drarry. Hermione turning into a Draco fangirl was not my favorite though. In particular her making excuses at the Burrow was entirely offputting given Draco nearly killing Ron and being the reason a werewolf could maimed Bill for like. That was shockingly unbelievable in an otherwise epic fic.

Still all in all well done.

And at first I wasn't too bothered, because I thought the 'complaint' (for want of a better word) was written respectfully, and everyone's entitled to their opinion, so I just replied with my own and a 'thanks for reading'. But the more I think about it, the more uncomfortable I get, especially after I went back to the moment in question in the fic and reread it. Because all Hermione does is agree with Harry's reasons for agreeing to the bonding spell with Malfoy, and helps him come up with ways to make sure that no advantage is taken of him while in that position of powerlessness under Harry. That doesn't sound like a 'fangirl' to me, but just a basic decent human being who cares about people's rights - the rights of all people, not just the ones she thinks deserves them. And I guess it makes me a little uncomfortable to think about, because the Trio are meant to be these shining examples of humanity at its best, doing the right thing because it's the right thing to do, and if these people aren't supposed to respect whomever they come across, what does that say about us all? I just... can't stop thinking about it I guess, and I'm probably thinking way too deeply about one person's opinion of my stupid little fanfic, but I guess I just... don't understand.

Okay, now I'm gonna go do some work in the hopes of getting paid, and then try to read a book that won't give me a rage conniption! Have a great start to the week, guys! <33

Help I have a new character crush!

So, how many of you guys have discovered the delight of the show Crazy Ex Girlfriend ? Because let me tell you, it is the BEST thing ever!!! For those of you that don't know, the show is about a Jewish, successful New York lawyer who, while in the middle of a nervous breakdown, accidentally runs into an ex-boyfriend that she hasn't seen since she was 16. The next thing she knows, she's moving from NYC to California, convinced that if she can just get back together with Josh Chan, her life will be perfect. AND, because her mental breakdown is happening in the style of a musical (because being in a musical during college is the last time she can remember being happy) she and everyone else around her sings songs, hilarious, ridiculous, sometimes fourth wall breaking songs. So anyway, season 1 was fucking fantastic, but I kind of lost a bit of love for the show after one of my fave characters left, but the other day I was catching up, and the New Guy sang his first song, and I AM IN LOVE SEND H E L P. He's gorgeous, and he sings beautifully, and also there was a discussion in an elevator about the Harry Potter books and he proudly admitted he was a Slytherin and I can't help it, I just love him!! His song was a fantastic and hilarious parody of Ed Sheeran's Thinking Out Loud, and honestly, Rachel Bloom is my idol, because this woman writes, composes, acts, sings, dances, directs, AND produces, and I don't understand how one person can be so talented.

But ANYWAY, here, look at this wonderful song and then go watch the show if you haven't already! And if you have, please let me unleash all of my Nathaniel Plimpton feels all over you!

weird comments are really fucking weird...

Do you guys ever get a comment where you read it and just think, what is the point of that?? I got one on one of my time travel fics, and I'm just sitting here scratching my head, going whaa?? This is what they wrote:

okay but now what youve got here is a paradox. if harry kissed draco coz of the future, then why did the original harry kiss draco? because he wouldn't have seen a future in which he immediately kissed draco because he hadn't kissed draco in his future.

Like, okay?? But did you like it or?? Do you have anything to add that isn't just pointing out the general point of a time travel fic? HOW DO I EVEN REPLY TO THIS?

People are really fucking weird sometimes, y'all.

Okay, someone remind me...

... Is dracotops_harry one of those fests where submission is open ended? As in, if I don't sign up immediately but before posting begins I've managed to create a fic that fits an unclaimed prompt, would they accept it as a submission?

It's just, the last time I wrote for this fest, I didn't have a great time, and I later worked out that it was due to the sexual dynamics restrictions - I write both Top!Harry and Top!Draco in my fics, and sometimes as switches, and it all depends on the story I'm trying to tell. BUT, I've had a look at the prompts list, and found a couple that have intrigued me... I'm just not sure I can commit if I don't know that the story will take me to a Top!Draco place, if that makes sense? I just don't want to waste the mods' time by saying 'hey, yeah, I'll do this one!', only for me to either have to drop out or have a miserable time trying to get words out on something that doesn't feel right, you know?

I know I've talked about this before, but I can't remember which fests worked like this and which didn't, and I can't find the damn post to check, so if someone could help me out, I'd be grateful! <3

Erised Fic Claim: Five Weddings and a Potions Accident

It's reveals time!! And yep, this was my fic! Honestly, I'm surprised mine wasn't the most well-guessed on the poll because of all the LEANING Draco did, haha! I'm always making him lean in my fics *happy sigh*. I had such fun writing this story, and this is absolutely all down to capitu's wonderful help. I was floundering and frustrated until she came along, and she turned it into a joy to write. This fic would literally not exist without her invaluable help, and I owe her all the cookies and hugs in the world! I'm so so happy that themightyflynn enjoyed her gift, and I was seriously overwhelmed by the response it's gotten - so many comments and recs! I've been squealing like a kid on Christmas morning over every single one. Thank you all so much!!

One thing I did want to mention, because a couple of people commented on it specifically: Verity, the stunning, sexy date of Harry's. I'm not entirely sure where she came from, but I kind of fell hard for her, and I'm so glad she stood out to readers too - as a plump, softly inviting girl myself, that positive response means more to me than I can express. I love you guys.



Title: Five Weddings and a Potions Accident
Recipient: themightyflynn
Pairing(s): Harry/Draco (side Ron/Hermione; Dean/Seamus; Ginny/Blaise; Neville/Hannah; Luna/Susan)
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~19,500
Warnings: A lot of sex, and boys being oblivious
Content/Enticements: Auror!Harry and Healer!Draco
Summary: In which Harry thinks he’s a playboy, everyone else knows better, and Hermione will kill Seamus if Ron tries to collect on that bet.
Author's Notes: To my dear giftee: After stalking your LJ, my brain kind of latched on to the idea of Auror!Harry and Healer!Draco, and this was somehow the result. There’s rather more sex than I usually write, so err, ‘sorry’ and/or ‘you’re welcome’, I guess? The biggest thanks to my Alpha reader, who singlehandedly turned this process from a frustrating chore into a joyful challenge, and to my beta, who somehow always manages to find time for me. Any remaining mistakes are my own, and absolutely nothing to do with these two wonderful ladies. Kisses to the mods for yet another wonderful fest. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.